Growing up.

I hate growing up.

I know that everybody hates growing up, but you must indulge me for a minute or so. I've been thinking about growing up a lot lately as I come to the end of my second year of a three-year degree. In an Arts subject. I have a lot of decisions to make next year and it's time to be honest with myself.

My love affair with London began at an early age. Once I had moved here I knew that I'd never, ever want to leave. I decided that I would stay in London after I finished my degree and become a writer. It's a lovely idea, but what are the chances? The reality is that most people with an English degree and aspirations of the journalistic or literary variety will end up working in marketing, PR or a bookshop. Growing up means having to be realistic; can I really pay rent, buy food, go out, and just survive in London with no money? With just my notebook and pen? The answer is no, absolutely not. Other questions: Do I really want to make tea, send emails, bitch by water-coolers, work a till and wonder how all this relates to my degree, just to earn a crust? A thousand times no. Do I want to have enough money for Christian Louboutin shoes one day? Yes! Yes!

Weighing all of this up, I did the ultimate grown-up thing. I decided on a compromise: teaching. My parents are teachers, I'm an English student, I love books, I love packed lunches; becoming a teacher was inevitable. Becoming a teacher is definately something that an adult would do. It's financially secure, there's a lot of paperwork, you're better than children and it's 'worthwhile'. Don't get me wrong, there's no way I could ever be persuaded to teach anybody under the age of 11 or anything other than English. And I'll have to save up for the Louboutins. But this way I can afford to stay in the city I love, (eventually) own fabulous shoes and in the long holidays, I can pretend to be a writer and wipe the dust from my notebook and pen.

Teachers can wear stilettos can't they?

(edit: I found my ambition again, no more PGCE for me. What was I thinking?!)